I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life for a long while now. While at school (or at least when I was) you are forced to consider what career choice you would like to go down at the tender age of 16-18. At 18 I thought I was a mature and balanced individual who knew what she wanted and was going to achieve it. The latter of these traits are not bad ones to possess but I was oblivious to how much I had yet to grow. This is true of almost all people at that age and why hardly any teenagers listen to advice given by their elders.
I am twenty-five now so have been considering and rejecting ideas of what I would like to “be when I grow up” for roughly seven years. Yes, I do feel I have more growing to do, I surely cannot be considered an adult, SURELY NOT!
In this interim I have been engaged, become a home owner and got married to the love of my life. I have a LOT to be grateful for, especially to my husband, as without him I would be unable to indulge my forays into various career paths. However, having achieved these things, there is still a niggling feeling that I haven’t reached my full potential or that I am missing out on… something. I cannot even place my finger on what that something is. So why does it bother me so much? Does anyone else have this feeling sometimes?
I started out going to University to study Interior Architecture. And after we started the course they decided there wasn’t enough of us (or weren’t garnering enough money from the course) to warrant keeping it on the curriculum and we were shunted into the Architecture line. Carrying on the course for seven years seemed like a massive waste of time as it was not what I went to Uni to study, however similar the two courses may have been, so I left. (Let’s gloss over the realisation that had I stayed on the course I would have a masters in Architecture and could potentially have been working for a year rather than wasting all THIS time trying to figure out what else I want to do with my life. Grr.)
I knew I loved design, any sort of design but most educational courses tie you into one line of design and I’m not one for being tied down!! Luckily, I found a course run by the Open University called Design and Innovation – YAY! A course that allows me to get qualified and chose where to apply it once I have finished. *dances*
Now, if you have not guessed by now, I am one of these people that starts something with all the enthusiasm in the world and it fizzles out after a period of time. Maybe my sporadic blog posting has alerted you to this fact previously. I am trying to change this as it is something that bothers me about myself.
So, true to my usual self, I did one module and did not carry on. I maintain it was because I was working twelve hours days and did not earn enough pay for the next few modules. So, time to explore my options again!
I worked as a Project Coordinator in the Oil and Gas industry for a few years and got rather settled for a while. But as the price of oil dropped our company started pay offs and while I managed to make it through I realised that nothing is certain and I should make sure I had another way to pay my bills should something bad happen.
I had been doing some hobby photography for a while and a friend asked for some help for her brothers wedding. So I gulped down my courage and dived right in and it made me realise how much I love it. I started a photography course and got really excited about EVERYTHING. I started building my portfolio and set up my business. Did some work with local business for fashion style shoots and ran competitions.
It would mean the world if you would let me know what you think of my website and my work! http://www.serenitymoments.co.uk
Unfortunately, with the move to Carlisle and the uncertainty of how long we will be here the timeline of a Wedding Photographers doesn’t fit with the plan so I will have to bump this back down to a hobby. I am truly gutted but if I am really honest with myself (which is not as often as it should be) I think I would have been extremely nervous had I actually received a wedding booking. I would fret that I’m not good enough or would muck up on the day. (Confidence issues, right?) So anyway, I will carry on practising and then some until I’m more confident and hopefully in a few years time we will be more settled and I can return to it.
This brings us to the present day in my non-career journey. What on earth do I do with myself now? A question I ask myself daily now and my musings have led me to reach the following conclusions.
I want to be my own boss. I’m done working for other people and being so restricted.
I want to write stories. I always have and I don’t think that is ever going to go away and I want to learn how best to do it. I have always dismissed this as the outcome is not a viable money making occupation and therefore I wouldn’t be able to support my part of the household income if I started down this road. BUT, and this one is a big ass but people – I believe that I need to pay attention to my love for this more. Life is too short and as I have loved the idea for so long and I would only get better as I learn and gain more life experience I am going to save up some of the money I make to fund the courses and start doing this on the side. Who knows, one day you might be strolling down the street and see my book in the Waterstones window!
I have an addiction to make-up and so I considered doing this as a way to indulge this addiction. Having thought about it clearly it seems like there would be a huge amount of start up costs what with the brands of make up, the sheer amount you would have to buy as well as the classes/courses and accreditation that goes along with it.
And last but not least, a few years back I bought a lot of Gelish kit and started doing my nail at home as a way to save some money. I actually got pretty good at doing them on myself so I considered this as an occupation as well. I could be my own boss, chat all day, have a laugh, work from home and providing I can fill my diary make some pennies! Also, the appointment turn around is short enough that if we move again it’s easier to manage! So I have researched it further and it looks like it is promising. The courses are better and the start up costs are within my realms. So wish me luck you beautiful folks – I’m going to be a nail technician and fill up my dairy to bursting then spend all my hard earned dolla on creative writing courses, while shooting my Canon in my spare time.
I really feel like I have settled onto my path (a feeling I rarely have) and I will never stop smiling.